Category: Relationship

How To Avoid Being Caught In A Controlling Relationship

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Even though controlling relationships are almost universally considered to be negative and very undesirable, they are far more prevalant than people realize. They are primarily the by-product of children being raised in homes with one or more controlling parents, and/or a highly unstable environment due to negative events.

The person who is trying to do the controlling is almost always trying to compensate for the “out of control” nature of the environment they grew up in. Internal fears of life spiralling out of control plague people with regular control problems. Their context for life was set in childhood and they often continue living out of that paradigm even though it’s no longer relevant.

The unstable home environment could have been a result of an alcoholic parent(s), an absent workaholic parent(s), the breakdown of the marriage, or some form of physical or emotional abuse. If a parent withholds love and affection as a means of keeping the child under their thumb, this destructive behaviour can carry over into adult relationships and cause a lot of problems.

The person who chooses to marry or date the controller is doing so because of one or a combination of the following reasons. 1. This is what they grew up with and it’s what they’re accustomed to. Although it’s not pleasant, being controlled is strangely comfortable. 2. They are attempting to change the controller, to reform them. This is often done unknowingly. The unconcious intention is to try and repair a disappointing relationship they had with their parent(s). 3. Being in a relationship with a controller makes them look good, because when they measure their own behaviour against the controller’s, they look like their doing a pretty good job of running their life, even though they’re probably not. 4. As times life seems easier while in a relationship with a controller because the controller makes most if not all the decisions for both people. It gives them someone to blame when things don’t work out right because…they didn’t make the decision!?!?

There are a few things to consider if you are looking to steer clear of a controlling relationship.

1. If being controlled is what you are used to, what you grew up with, then it’s vital to realize that “you are not responsible for the environment you grew up in.” In dysfunctional homes, the children tend to take responsibility for the parent’s problematic behaviours. In controlling homes it’s common for the parent(s) to blame the child as a means of off loading responsibility and thus paralyzing the child. In order to drive it deep into your subconcious mind, I suggest you repeat that phrase over and over. “The environment you grew up in was not your responsibility, not your doing.” As importantly, “you are 100% response-able, able to respond, to your life as an adult.” You can learn the skills and run your life well without the need to have a controlling person manipulating you.

2. If it’s your intention to try and reform a controller….please stop. Trying to control something you have no control over is the best possible way to create insanity in an individual. The only control any of us have is over ourselves. We can gain tremendous increases in our sense of control over our own lives if we will spend our time working on our own hangups and misgivings. Efforts to correct a controlling person are really only futile attempts to control them.

3. As an attempt to cover up your lack of personal initiative, don’t hide behind a controlling person’s unhealthy actions to make yourself look good. Find a reason for living that brings joy to you and others. Do some research into your life purpose. Why are you here? We’ve most likely never met, you and I, yet I am quite sure you have abilities and gifts that can be used to make the world a better place to live.

4. Learn how to make decisions for yourself. Being in a relationship with a controlling person can be pretty terrific because they are more than happy to make most if not all the decisions. That seems to make things easy, except that you aren’t developing the habit of making good decisions. This step is primarily about your will and rarely about skill. “But I don’t know how!” you protest. You will learn. Bit by bit, day by day. The process of learning to make better choices is the same as learning any new skill, it gets better and better with more practice. Practice does not make perfect, but it sure makes life a lot more pleasant!

The Weekend Relationship

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During the week there are hundreds of details that need tending to. There are things to do, people to see, places to go. So its not surprising that romance naturally falls to the back of the list of things to do. To many people, romance is a treat that is to be savored only on special occasions; or whenever it feels like we deserve it, usually after denying ourselves of it in favor of a lot of hard work.

As satisfying and renewing as romantic relationships are, we are still not quite at the place to see them as part of a healthy lifestyle. Even though there is a lot of hard scientific evidence to support making romance a healthy part of every day, many people leave it to the weekends to partake of their special treat.

Couples who dont live to together may only have the weekends to see each other or spend any real quality time to together. But even married couples, and couples who live together, put their romance off until Friday after work. This may seem okay to a certain extent, but given the fact that there are other things that need to be done on the weekends, that didnt get done during the week, it might be difficult to give yourself permission to do nothing but take some private time doing nothing but enjoying another persons company. But if there isnt some time and attention given to it, a relationship will suffer. It may suffer in silence for a while, but it will suffer just the same.

If you are at the point that you dont think you have time, even on the weekends, to dedicate to keeping your love alive, its time for you to drop some things off your schedule and make some time. Weekends are a good place to start. At first it will seem like just another task for the week, but it will soon be far from feeling like work. All it takes is some planning and organization. In the same time you could compile a grocery list, you can make a list of things to do that will nourish your relationship.

Start making plans for your weekend on Monday morning. Not only will it give you a good head start on the weekend, but it will give you something to look forward to all week. It also makes it less possible to cancel your plans if you have them all mapped out, and have been doing things all week to get ready for them.

Making time for love can be as simple as putting a load of laundry in after work every day so it isnt piled up to the ceiling by Friday night. Its also a good idea to do grocery shopping on Thursday instead of Saturday or Sunday, so its out of the way. It also helps to do errands on Friday after work so that there will be no real need to even go out of the house on the weekend if you dont want to.

There a lot of ways to structure lifes details so that they do not take over all the good things in life that really should be the rule, and not the exception; its just a matter of doing them. With enough practice you could even learn to include a few week days into your weekend romance.

An Analysis Of Just The Way You Are Lyrics

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Bruno Mars Just The Way You Are lyrics do not start the flattery until 20 seconds into the song. Before that, the song establishes an upbeat and speedy tempo, worthy of a R&B and pop classification, and perhaps even comparisons to Joe Cocker and Eric Clapton. Though the musical style is new and versatile, the lyrical quality is a throwback to some of those classic and ingenuous songs of the 1950s and 1960s that were all about the love, the feelings and the mating call.

There is a lack of cynicism in Just The Way You Are lyrics, which is no doubt what prompted ContactMusic.com to state that the song comes across as quite corny and cheesy. No doubt Bruno Mars would take no issue with criticism as the song and its performer are clear about the message. I wasn’t thinking of anything deep or poetic, Bruno Mars said. I was telling a story. Get ready to fall in love! He states that his song is from the heart and is about telling a woman that she looks beautiful the way she is.

Mars gets ultra-cheesy from the beginning of the song to the end with lyrics like Her hair, her hair, Falls perfectly without her trying, She’s so beautiful, And I tell her every day. A&R Director Aaron Bay-Schuck went on record, stating that the song was an instant hit as it didnt sound like anything else on the radio.

Upon listening to Just The Way You Are lyrics, you will soon notice the narrative of the song isnt about a loving relationship, but tells the story of Bruno Mars protagonist character and the woman he dreams about. In the music video its implied that Bruno finally has the courage to approach her and in a gesture of love, sings her the song, creating all sorts of magic out of the melody.

The beat has a dance-worthy pulse and memorable chorus lines. Bruno Mars Just The Way You Are lyrics have been called carefree, feel-good, and yes, even cheesy and corny. Nevertheless, all of this is completely within Bruno Mars character, as he is a Hawaiian born musician, and a colorful character who says things like A lot of girls say Im out of this world, so I was like, I guess I’m from Mars. Hence the name.

Download Bruno Mars song right now and swoon over his lady-loving ways!

Relationship Roles Return To Tradition

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BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – Relationship roles and social values have made a return to the traditional, as noted by professional matchmaker, Suzanah Juras.Juras, owner of Femme de Maison a private social club in Beverly Hills, California, spotted the returning trend in relationship roles through client requests. “It’s seems like there is a renaissance of traditional relationship values,” says Juras, whose clients are some of the most elite of society. “My clientele work demanding schedules with even more demanding social lives. They are looking for a partner willing to help balance the madness.” The Beverly Hills, California executive matchmaker service is renowned among the rich and famous for their elite social introductions for affluent men to the most desirable and beautiful women.

Members are selected for membership to this exclusive club which consists of the most successful and accomplished of individuals. “It’s easy to assume these men are simply looking for a trophy wife,” says Juras. “We have some of the most gorgeous women no other matchmaking services offer, but the majority of my clients are looking for someone with whom they can share their wealth. They desire someone with whom they can share their home and lives.”s.”

A beautiful home overseen by a beautiful wife is indeed a legitimate desire. For most men, walking in the door after a hard day at the office and being greeted by a lovely woman with the smell of dinner cooking in the background can be classified as practically narcotic. What was common many decades ago has somehow become a rarity for couples.

At one time, men provided for their families by working outside the home. Women remained at home taking care of the home and family. From the industrial age to the feminist movement, relationship roles have shifted throughout history.

For most couples, both partners now work outside the home. Men now pitch in equally with the cooking and cleaning. Women now share in financial responsibilities of the household.

A struggling economy has forced some couples to exchange roles in the home entirely. Many women have found employment faster and easier than their male counterparts resulting in a rising number of stay-at-home dads. Still, many women have expressed a desire to return to the privilege of remaining at home with their families. As for singles, the desire to find someone to share their home and their lives has been a challenge.

Busy with responsibilities of their careers, many singles have turned to online dating or utilize a matchmaking service to find someone special.Men and women alike have expressed a desire to return to traditional roles in relationships says the aLos Angeles matchmaker. Some are simply consumed with the responsibility of providing for their family, such as single parents.

In most situations, the luxury of being able to stay at home with the family is expressed by many singles desiring to find a partner for a traditional relationship. The fear of the financial strain thwarts their hope. “They see situations with their peers where a partner has lost their job and is unable to find employment,” says Juras. “The responsibility shifts to the woman to be the sole provider for their family and this scares some women. Great pressure is now placed on women to help support their families.”

This does not indicate women do not want to stay home with their family. They are just doing what needs to be done and they deserve great respect and admiration.

Not to be discouraged by economic pressures and societal differences, there still remains a population who long for traditional roles in relationships.

Singles have many alternatives when it comes to finding love. For those who seek a more marriage-minded relationship, Juras recommends utilizing a reputable matchmaker.

Learn More
Learn more about Femme de Maison and their services by visiting www.FemmeDeMaison.com

About Feme de Maison
Femme de Maison is an elite matchmaking company based in Los Angeles, California which offers social introductions to distinguished men.

2012 Master Google and Femme de Maison. Authorization to post is granted, with the stipulation that Master Google, an online company whichoffers a customized SEO rank checker for websites, and Femme de Maison are credited as sole source. Linking to other sites from this document is strictly prohibited, with the exception of herein imbedded links.

Australian Visas Evidence Of Genuine Relationship

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If you are getting a visa for Australia as a partner (as a spouse, de facto, fianc and interdependent), you will be asked to provide proof of genuine and continuing relationship. Whether you are applying for the first time as for a temporary Australia visa or for a more permanent partner visa, this is often included as part of the requirements.

One of the things you can present is a statement or statutory declaration outlining the history of your relationship. It can include details such as how, when and where you first met. You may also include details of how your relationship developed, when you decided to get married or start a defacto relationship and your current domestic arrangements. If youve had periods of separation, this must also be included with reason why the separation occurred and when. Your future plans are also a vital part of your declaration.

There are also four categories that need to be accomplished as evidence of your ongoing relationship: financial aspect, nature of the household, social context of the relationship and the nature of your commitment to each other.

When applying for a partner visa for Australia, you will be required to provide evidence that you share financial commitments and responsibilities such as joint ownership of assets, sharing of finances, legal commitments, or having joint bank accounts.

You will also be asked to provide evidence that you and your partner share responsibilities within the household as part of your Australia visa application. This may include your living arrangements, distribution of housework, joint ownership of rental of the residence, utilities accounts, living expenses and more.

For social context, you would need to provide evidence that shows you and your partner are generally accepted as a couple socially (ie in invitations), the assessment of your friends, declaration to government parties, statutory declarations made by parents and family members. Joint participation in groups, travel, sports cultural events and social activities are also acceptable evidence.

You may also be asked to provide evidence on the nature of your commitment to each other, including knowledge of each others personal circumstances, intention that the relationship will be long-term, terms of wills, etc.

It is advised that you provide as much evidence as you can that will support the stability of your relationship. You may be asked to provide information during the processing of your Australian visa.