If your significant other has started pulling away from, has become distant, stopped having sex with you, or has outright informed you they want to break up, you’re not as bad off as you think you are.
Couples fight, break up and get then get back together all the time.
If you’re in a position where your partner wants to break up, but you want to stay together, then the following relationship saving tips below, might just get you back in the saddle again.
Tips For Stopping Your Break Up or Lover’s Rejection:
1. If you were too clingy in your relationship, back off. Leave them alone, completely. Let them have their space, or the freedom they think they’ve been missing. They’ll soon become real curious as to why you backed off altogether, and will be drawn back to you to find out why. When they do call, or come back around, play it cool and agree with their position of wanting space. Acknowledge that you were too possessive and that you’ve realized that acting in such a manner was not only unhealthy to the relationship, but it was becoming unhealthy to you as well. When they begin to think you’re the one pulling away, watch how they magically want you back in their life again.
2. If you didn’t show enough emotion or caring in your relationship, do something surprising. Send them a genuinely touching message with some flowers, or in a card. The trick here is to be ‘genuine’. If they smell insincerity at all, your efforts will be wasted. Don’t make it too mushy or too long. Acknowledge that you realize how insensitive you were and reassure them that they are the most amazing person to ever step into your life. Once you send that message out, back off. Don’t call, don’t send another message, don’t stalk. Your partner will be curious why you disappeared and they’ll come calling for you soon enough.
3. If you were lazy in your relationship, you better figure that out and become un-lazy somehow. No one likes, or wants a lazy, unmotivated slob for a partner. If you’ve become overweight, unkept (appearance wise), don’t work, don’t help out in any capacity, or you were even lazy in the bedroom, be surprised they didn’t leave you before now. It’s in your best interest to get some straighten up in your life. The next time your partner calls, you better be doing something active and worthwhile. You need to shock them with whatever you’re doing now. You have to come across as different in their eyes, or else they’ll continue to see you as that lazy, unfortunate person they’ve come to despise and they’ll keep moving further away from you.
4. If you were too much of a go-getter in your relationship, take it down a notch when it comes to your partner. You may have pushed them too hard, too many times. Ease up on your partner, not everybody has a high level of drive and determination. The next time they call and want to know what you’re doing, make sure that you’re engaged in something low key, something you wouldn’t normally be thought of doing. Like tip #3, you need to shock partner so they get curious as to why you’re acting so differently now that they aren’t around. When they inquire as to why you’re doing what you’re doing, inform them that you realized what a pain in the rear you’ve been and you thought it was time to take it down a notch. They’ll become curious and you’ll see them come around again.
5. Sex. If you weren’t having too much of it, or you were trying to have too much of it, this is something else you better figure out. Sex is a huge part in every relationship, but sex is on a different level for each individual. If you were the one who didn’t want to have sex because you were never in the mood, you better go see a doctor and find out why. If you were trying to have sex all the time, understand that your partner may not be as motivated to have sex with you all the time, so it’s best you find out why. There are many reason why a partner doesn’t want to have sex and those reasons don’t always have to do with you. Become more understanding of your partners needs. If you want them back and want to keep them, pressuring is the last thing you want to do to them, especially with something as sensitive as sex. The next time you two get together, do the opposite of whatever you used to do. If you never wanted to have sex, you better get in the mood real fast and throw yourself erotically on to them. If you were too pushy in the past, don’t even bring it up. Let sex come naturally. If you genuinely love your partner, then you’ll feel compassionate about their feelings and act accordingly.
If you are in the early stages of a break up, let’s say, the past few days, even a week; then the following are a few tips that you must follow exactly, or else you’re dead in the water:
1. Stop communication. If you keep calling, texting, sending notes, contacting their friends and family, then you’re not giving them a chance to miss you. I realize it’s difficult and you feel like you’re going to die without them, but whatever you do, don’t contact them directly, or indirectly anymore until they initiate the contact with you. When they don’t hear from you anymore, they’re going to become real curious as to why.
2. Keep communication brief. When your partner does call again, keep the contact short. Don’t speak with them more than 10 minutes and then casually remove yourself to take another call, or because you simply have to go. You never want to come across as needy and insecure, so always appear to have something else going on. Don’t act, or come across as arrogant, angry or insecure. These displays of emotions are a turn off and will guarantee that your partner won’t call again for a long while.
3. Take time out. Stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to responsibly understand why your partner wants to break up. What did you say or do that made them want to jump ship right now? How have you been acting over the course of the relationship, that might answer why they chose to leave. Once you can reasonably understand the main motive for the detachment, then you can construct a game plan to adjust your position and start implementing a new life strategy, that will be more appealing to your partner.
4. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The last thing that is going to help you, is acting like a depressed little cry baby. Not to mention, if your partner got wind that you were laying around pouting over the break up, that will only empower them. Use this time to be free to do what you want. Believe me, I know depression, it makes you feel like death is the only way to feel better. However, depression won’t get your partner back. Only a healthy confident ‘you’, has the power to attract your lover back in to your life.
The only true test to know if your partner will come back to you, is time.
Let your significant other have as much time as they need without contacting them, smothering them or pressuring them.
The two worst things you can ever do to a lover, is pressuring them and stressing them out. No pressure. No stress. Live by those two things alone and you’ve mastered half of the relationship game.